Eating my words with a baby spoon

I have a long list of things I said I’d never do as a parent. I had this unrealistic idea if what parenthood was like. I have been at this for almost 2 months and have eaten my words every. single. day.

Nursing
I thought that nursing would be this magical time that I would have with my baby. I would sit in our rocking chair with soft music playing and my complete attention would be on her. She’d make eye contact and I’d sing her songs and talk softly to her. It would be perfect.

Ha. Hahahahaha.

I quickly learned that feeding her every hour on the hour all night long in those first few weeks was exhausting, and staying awake was a difficult task. Netflix became my BFF. She wasn’t looking at me anyway, so Army Wives, Arrested Development, and the entire series of Weeds kept me chipper and kept me from falling asleep and dropping my baby.

I also said I’d never eat while nursing my baby. If I didn’t eat while nursing her, I’d starve. Poor thing gets crumbs dropped on her, but she’s been latched on off and on for 4 hours tonight. Four. Hours. I totally ate my dinner with her attached to my boob. Thankfully she’s knocked out in the swing so I have a break.

I’ve learned that the most important thing about nursing is that I’m doing it, and I’m proud that I stuck it out even when it was tough. Even if I did get crumbs on my baby. Oooops.

Sleep
I swore that Quinn would always sleep in her bed. She does at night. But we have taken many, many naps together with her in my bed.

She mainly sleeps in her swing or in her own bed now, but the first month was rough.
She has also slept on her stomach before. I do make sure I’m awake when that happens.

But it is one of the things I said I’d never do. Gotta survive, y’all.

Beer
I drank my first postpartum beer when Q was just a couple weeks old. I didn’t pump and dump. She’s still kicking.

I had sworn off alcohol until I was no longer nursing. That’s just not realistic.

TV
My child stares at the TV. I don’t like it, but she will look around you to stare at whatever is on. If we want her full attention we turn it off, then we usually get a look like this.

I do not want her to be the TV kid. I really don’t want her to be the TV baby. I also don’t want to sit in a room all day with her and never turn on the TV for myself. We’ll just continue to watch the news together.

These are just a few of the things I’ve bent my own rules on. I’m sure there will be many, many more.

I’m writing this to let all new mothers know that it’s ok. It’s ok not to be perfect. It’s ok to change your views of things when you’re deep in the trenches of the war zone that is motherhood. I love my baby more than anything in the world and I’ll do anything to protect her. I’ve learned to relax my own set of unrealistic rules so I can be a better mother to her.
We like to have fun.

Bless her little heart.